i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
