i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
