I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
you never un-have a 4some
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
