I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
