I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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