I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
