He felt like a one man threesome
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
