I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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