Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
