New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
