Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
