I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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