I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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