I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
