trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
