So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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