Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
that is very illegal...i love you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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