Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
