Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
