Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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