I want to walk on stilts...naked
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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