He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
True strength comes from lack of pants
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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