he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
smell my finger.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Come share oat with me in your robe
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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