New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You are a genius and a whore.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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