Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
