oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I AM VODKA MAN
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Randomize
