Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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