Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
