i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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