I wish I only lived at night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
