: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
