also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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