Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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