I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
