I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am one with the molecules
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
