Can Purell be used as lube?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
