Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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