God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
