Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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