how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
accomplished twins. life is a go
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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