She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
