Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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