Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
