Dual....:-)
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
