Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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