Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just had sex on a roof
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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