She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
