i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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