I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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