Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
