girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
